1.1

Hi 2016, 

How are you doing? 

2015 has been tough yet fruitful.

Thanks for all the people who went through this with me,

you know who you are. 

2016,

I am 24 years old working adult, pupil in chamber,

and soon quarter life crisis will strike 

I hope it will lead me closer to my dream.

Work hard, work smart please Michelle Hoon,

Learn, 

Grow, 

and remind yourself,

never 

ever

settle down here.

 

I want to see the world.

11.27

November has came to an end. 

It taught me a lot. 

To cope with failure,

To accept that I am incapable at some point,

To be humble. 

I am a strawberry that couldn't stand for failure,

I felt heartbroken, I cried, I just couldnt accept my fucking failure-s

Guess I've been living way too comfortably for the past few years

But this one month

I fall,

and I picked myself up again. 

I stumbled,

yet I learnt from my mistake. 

Hi,

I am at the cross-road,

once again.

I really hope that I can get a pupillage soon

Pray pray and pray.

I have to work soon

Please, workkkkkkkkkkkkk.

An end. Full stop.

荒唐的是我没有办法遗忘.

11.10

God I look to you, I won't be overwhelmed.

Give me vision, to see things like you do.

God I look to you, you where my help comes from,

Give me wisdom, you know just what to do.

10.31

WAS DUCKING DEPRESSED LAST NIGHT.

And I tell myself,
as always,
God has his best plan for me,
whatever it is.
What I need to do,
is trust him
and
believe in myself.

8.27

-Playing Jessie J: Flashlight- 

Woke up at 1030am this morning (forgive me, I literally slept at 2am last night). Life is good, just got back from Bangkok and Phuket, and yes I shall update those amazing pictures ASAP. Doing nothing at the moment, blogging, perhaps do some research for the upcoming hk trip, life is too good this way, feel like i am rotting though, good or bad. Anyway, I had a lovely night yesterday, watched mission impossible with my roomie (free tickets wohoo!), such a shame that it was the second outing since we stay together for almost a year. Tom Cruise didn't disappoint us as usual, still hott! Not to forget Simon Pegg, the classy British accent *melted*. We couldn't hide our excitement whenever there was any london-related-scene, Oxford Street, night view of Tower Bridge, London Eye, oh dear, we were like looking at each other, 'London ehhh'. HAHA. nostalgic together (roomie graduated from University of Southampton-Actuarial Science). soo yea time to do something productive to kick start the day, kthxbye! 

'Be bold enough to use your voice, brave enough to listen to your heart, and strong enough to live the life you've always imagined'

Surround yourself with people that worth being with. Those who are wiser, who can see broader picture than you do.

Time flies and people do change.

And the fact being Various types  of people in this world, be it childish, be it arrogant, be it inconsiderate, you named it.  Remember, not to waste time on those people, but only those who make you grow, who make you think.

8.10

深夜.
听着张雨生和陶子的歌
反反复复

我期待
有一天我会明白

活了这么久最torturing的考试
莫过于此了
也就这么跟自己说
不管最后结果如何
都是上帝最好的安排

工作方面也是
怎么会有这种事啊
没有record我到底有没有accept offer
往好的方面想
大概就是老天给我这个机会
重新考虑之前的决定吧

很多人都会说
top firm why not
reject 了一定会后悔
我考虑很多啦
把它当终身幸福那样在考虑
答复始终要给的

也不懂自己是哪根筋不对
就是没有很想进那间
sign了就不用重新go through interview, preparation etc了
而且又是lrt可以到的地方
同事又是熟悉的
待遇也不赖
又有奖学金可以拿
温仪啊
我真的不懂你在想啥
-.-

我想要一个新开始啊
不想要有太多牵伴
可不可以这个理由概括全部的好处






Seeking For God's direction.

6.24

Still one of my favourites :D

wake up-study-eat-procrastinate-study-eat-procrastinate-study-sleep 

my daily routine

BUT hang in there 

you have gone through 3 years degree my dear

this too

shall pass!

And bear in mind

you're preparing yourself for the court room 

do make sure you give it all 

FIGHTING! 

每当我找不到存在的意义
每当我迷失在黑夜里
夜空中最亮的星
请指引我
靠近你
请照亮我
前行

五味参杂的夜晚
从英国回来快一年了
觉得这一年的考验比起在英国的那些日子
多好多
碰钉子碰到麻木
人与人关系的处理
同学朋友housemateroomate甚至interviewer,parttimejob
很多时候问题发生
我埋怨
我伤心
审视自己不足的同时
我感谢每一个经历
不管有多坏
我管它叫成长
能够蜕变的成长

--

人啊人
当你掏心掏肺对别人好的时候
真的不要期望他们会以同样的心态对你
当你给别人方便的时候
不一定回报的是感激
更多的是把你的方便当随便
够直够硬
你就能够保护自己
不能做到这一点的话
难
久而久之
你发现哪些人真心对你好
哪些人不宜久留

有些伤害一旦造成
便会一直烙印在心底

5.17

SOMETIME I FEEL LIKE
GIVING UP
...
THEN I REMEMBER
I HAVE A LOT OF
MOTHERFUCKERS TO
PROVE WRONG

YOHOO THAT'S THE SPIRIT
CHAYOH MICHELLE HOON!

5.12

I spent the whole morning, doing nothing, but cracked my mind to think of the solution for the bugs problem.

I complained, why everything goes wrong at this point of time. DAMMIT. And basically you can rely on no one but you yourself.

Okay go away negativity. I need something positive.

When life goes wrong, don't go blue. Just pray and say, I will go through this.

4.28

嘿
生活忙碌的你最近好吗
我很好
只是今晚有少许的感触
需要用文字记录下来

'仪，在哪里啊？’
是爸爸的声音

‘在房间勒爸’

‘我在你门口这边勒’

‘哈？？！爸你跟我开玩笑是吗’

‘真的，你出来看一下’

‘不要假假啦~’

‘你出来看~’

开门一看，真的是爸爸！不是在做梦， 他从古晋七早八早特地飞来KL，给我这个惊喜

今天比较闲他说
呆在家里也没事做
来看看你
顺便带些薏米来
皮肤不好的话薏米可以清血

爸爸啊爸爸
你叫我怎们不爱你
特地来这里
煮了薏米水给我喝
还帮我擦药
就算在家里跟你聊天
也很开心

我觉得其中一个原因女生们单身
大概是没有遇到一个可以像爸爸一样无条件爱你的人吧

我会好好努力
不为你们也要为自己
3年都毕业了
最后一个律师执照也可以的！

4.24

东西好多

却不知从何开始

复习也是

未来也是

人际也是

青葱葱的草地

至少换来一刻的宁静

异常清新的空气

至少过滤那快被灰尘埋没的心灵

感恩啊

——

我听说

当你不再回头望后看时

就代表你在路上了

很实在的

活在当下

4.10

前几天
第一次那样俯视吉隆坡
双峰塔和吉隆坡塔在夜的衬托下
闪耀却也平静
也忘了上一次是几时看夕阳了
看着红红完整的太阳在5分钟之内消失在云海里
惊叹却也开心
前几个月就对自己说
23岁的我
愿望很简单
只希望能够记录生活里每一天的日落
巧合的是
几个月后
发掘跟我有一样想法的人
那只是个愿望
看似简单却难以实践的愿望

孤独的旅者
听说过吗
有些人以这种形式存在着
孤独 却不寂寞
因为他们注定被不安全感包围
然而享受那份坦然

1.18am 空想来着

3.30

Hey I am confused these days, who am I and what I have been doing these days. The questions have repeatedly popped out, did I make a right choice? Should I withdraw the offer? Too much uncertainty, too much insecurity.

Is the law firm really suits me? They didn’t offer family law, but frankly I really don’t think litigation is my cup of tea. So for corporate? Yes they do, 2014 best law firm yea?  

My main concern is the future colleagues though. Most of them (the other chambees) will be my classmates, I really hope that we can work in peace and hopefully an enjoyable environment. Competition? Drama? Shooh laa.

Okay, my working holiday visa plan gonna defer undoubtedly. 1 or 2 years? Unknown. We’ll see.

Michelle Hoon Yee, you must be grateful. For you are lucky enough to get called to the interview, and even got the offer to chamber there. And you know what,

‘WHEN YOU COME OUT OF THE STORM, YOU WON’T BE THE SAME PERSON WHO WALKED IN. THAT’S WHAT THIS STORM’S ALL ABOUT’

Thank you heavenly father, I know everything happens for a reason J

3.28

5.45早上，只睡了三个小时就醒了。昨天发生的事情还历历在目，伤口并没有这么容易愈合。续上个礼拜以为SCREWED惨惨 之后， 奇迹发生了。前几天受到电话，让我昨天去Second interview. 于是昨天是我正式签了卖身契的日子，如果成功通过八月的考试的话，就必须到那间law firm上班了。只是跟其中一位律师discuss Offer 的时候，闹到很不愉快。好话说在前，说他们公司相信我是很好的candidate，所以才会在20个人里面把我列入7位入选名单的其中一个。可是听了我的workiNg holiday plan 之后他就戏剧性的大发雷霆-.-理所当然我被伤得遍体鳞伤。我觉得他说实在真的是超传统的思想，不能理解为什么别人花4年读law结果还要花一年去外国而不是马上实习成为律师。come on 世界上有一个词叫experience 你他妈的在leading law firm 当partner 有多了不起，肤浅到极点。人生啊

3.18

Okay, update is a must to note down the official first legal career interview yesterday, which one would sum up using a word: SCREWED, literally. Below is the few face-palmed moments which I really think that I m a sucker -.-

1. So how was your attachment with Skrine? (the other law firm)
Wonderful! As in the programme is really structured, and I learned a lot from my mentor.... 

...

After a few other random questions, he asked: 'So let's say Skrine and Shearn both offer you a place to chamber, which one will you choose?'
Shearn! Because generally I prefer the environment here 
He interrupted 'But I thought you just said your experience at Skrine is wonderful?!'
I was like OMG, DAMMIT! so I replied ' Yes, but the environment is more friendly here, as in Skrine is quite stressful, and all attachment students are put in the library, so we don't really have the chance to talk to other LAs, except our mentor...'

FML. This is how I slapped myself using my own hands.

2. Have you heard about Bersih? What do you think of that?
Yes, I think Malaysia politics is dirty..(He interrupted again 'Actually bersih is not about politics you know', HELLO BERSIH IS BUILT ON THE UNFAIR POLITICAL CONSPIRACY WHAT- MAN I SHOULD REPLY THIS)
So I acted like a stupid, asked them 'it's the campaign lodged by ambiga right?' (FML- I am asking the interviewers is it organized by ambiga when i know it is and it literally showed my stupidity) '

FML2.

3. What do you think about Sedition Act? Do you think it should be abolished?
Yes I think it should, although my lecturer Mariette Peter does'nt really agree with that. (FML3- I dont know why the hell I mentioned about her but she just came across my mind -.-)
The interviewer : Look, We're now asking your opinion, not your lecturer's (THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME SUCKER)
Me: I know, I am just stating that I dont agree with her and the reason....


Besides these 3 FML matters, ridiculous stuff just came out from my mouth on and off throughout the interview, I was nervous -.-. But it's overall a valuable experience, practice makes perfect and I am beyond lucky to have the chance to get called to the interview.

So note to myself
1. Try your best to polish your speaking skill.
2. Be confident.

So despite the awful experience, I went for the movie 'Cinderalla' with my coursemates right after the interview. It reminds me of my childhood a lot, as I used to watch it repeatedly. Now I look back to the same movie, with a different thought. Moral of the story is that be brave, be kind, and you will end up living happily after, that's no doubt for sure. But it might be not preferable to give small girls (like who i used to be) an impression that they should wait for the prince to live happily ever after you see. Girls nowadays can be queen, stand by their own to live happily ever after, with or without the prince :)

3.3

Chaos, everywhere, everything. 

Get back to the right track soon please, I'm emotionally unstable now.

Give me back my peaceful life.

Hey March, please treat me well.

P/S: Brother never fail to remind me of the chilling weather in the UK, while I complained about the getting-worse-heat in KL. Oh dear, someone please sent me back to Cardiff, I am so so tired. 

1.25

On the way to airport, with 'worthy is the lamb' playing on the list. Happy to be home, even for only two days. Somehow i can't hide the bits of sadness, to sent off  le bro to further studies, and the next time I can talk to him face to face will be  2 years  later.  I know I shouldn't be sad,  because he is the lucky one, to have this opportunity to explore, to learn, to experience.  You know I just  feel slightly depressed when I foresee the scene that whenever I got home, he wouldn't be around. Whenever I wana have breakfast, he will no longer be there for me. No one will drive me home when  I couldn't recognise the road man.  At least for these two years,  take good care of yourself until we meet my beloved brother. You're my one and only  :'(  I will be there for you,  as always!  You know your sister loves you  LOTS

1.14

Today, Michelle, we believe God wants you to know that ...

faith in yourself will see you through.

You are strong and can deal with anything that life throws at you. Take a deep breath and be filled with the knowledge that you can deal with all things.